Hi there, you will have to make a choice to focus on one relationship. Hi Kim, Thank you for sharing your story. You still feel a form of love and attachment to your spouse (otherwise you might not be reading this article right now), but at the same time you are drawn to this new person. He has told me he does not feel in love with me. You can help this process by setting some boundaries with the other man or woman. I am still working to get through my break up but I am also trying to protect my children as my husband just says the kids will be ok! We havent even spoken to the kids yet about the status of our relationship. Good evening my name is adeleke adebayo from Nigeria I lost my marriage because my wife is chitin on me she is bringing man to my house wen am not around one day I come back home on expect and cot. To access it, just click here. Married for 10 years now and blessed with a very lovely and caring wife. I have been engaging in sexting with a childhood boyfriend that I got back in contact with after more than 20 years of not talking. Thanks for the post. Yourself or the kids? As I explained, it is very easy to let the flame sizzle out by not maintaining the love between you. Hi, I am in love with another man while married to someone else and he is also married. How can I react? Hi there, I encourage you to be careful with leaving one person for another. The good news here is that they can be changed. In addition to this, I often see people making excuses. They went to school together in Africa and she initiated contact with him. I hate being in this place emotionally. I can also recommend a program we have created to help people move on from an unhappy marriage with grace and peace of mind. Focus your energy instead on falling back in love with your husband by bringing new things into your relationship. I have even offered marriage counseling and he thinks its a waste. We dont argue, we dont dislike one another, but I am not getting what I need from him. Im scared to tell the hubby i want to end our marriage for some time now. My issue is this: I love my husband, Im not ready to give up his friend ship, or him as a person just as a lover. You have really good advice. If youre not happy with your spouse and you tried everything to make it work, then who are you fooling? I was wondering if he too thinks about me as much as I think about him because he broke it off for the sake of his marriage. "Although unrequited love can feel extremely painful, it can . If you think your love is true, give it sometime because it is better to live together then go away. My husbands a good father nd tries to take care of me as much as he can but then he doesnt take care of my emotional needs. In many cases, people have already checked out of their marriages and if this is you, it is very important that you recognize this. And last night, my guy told me, he just wants me to be honest with myself and to not let other people treat me as a doormat and put myself first. If, however, in your heart of hearts you feel ready to move on, I encourage you to download our product that is designed to show you how to do this with grace and peace of mind. please I need help. Im trying to look for answers I recently split with my boyfriend of 2 years got back together he proposed to me even though I told him to wait until we are back on track I love him but Im not in love with him I have strong feelings for someone I work with who has also told me he loves me and Im torn dont know what too do Im no longer the same person I was two years ago with my boyfriend and that the person I work with makes me feel loved and is more like me and we have more in common totally confused. "Relationship Radio: Marriage, Sex, Limerence & Avoiding Divorce" Quick Tips: Married but in Love with Someone Else Pt. She never was one to initiate anything sexual and at times how wed end up being intimate is kind of sad (wont write on this). Im married and also in love with another man who happens to be my teenage boyfriend about 26yrs ago. Hi Eva, thank you for taking the time to share your story. But we are not at one page at all. but the one who has been with girls before which happens to be the one in the marriage that isnt working at all doesnt trust that her bestfriend / love of her life will leave her husband for her. Im confused. Keep in mind that love is a choice. Hi Elle, this is definitely a tough situation. (It lasted about 3-4 months) Out of fear of what the future would hold, I decided to stay and work on my marriage because its my comfort zone even if it meant the drama. This is where communication comes into play so that the two spouses can determine the best environment for their children. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, so why is it that this guy stirs me up so much sexually. Its hard bc I dont want to live without him, but also dont want him to be with me if he cannot be committed. The important thing to keep in mind is that if you remain in a marriage just to keep the other person happy, you are also preventing them from eventually being with someone who truly wants to be with them. Keep your friendship with your lover because friendship is long lasting than any love. Wishing you the best! 5. I talk to him but when hes made up his mind it doesnt matter what anyone says. He either speaks frankly of his married life or avoids any mention of it. There are many chances you got your lover back sooner or later. On top of that my children seem to be extremely distant from me and always want to leave with their father when he threatens to take my car and leave. Your email address will not be published. When it comes tofalling back in love with your spouse, it is important that you listen to and respond to your partners love language, and meet their deepest emotional needs! You can never force it, but once it arrives and settles in, you need to actively preserve it if you dont want it to go anywhere. Even myself. As well as the children maybe force to cut the family ties with the other side who they did not choose to live with. I feel depressed, alone and stuck like a prisoner in this marriage. Im still married, but not a day goes by where I dont think about the other woman. Hmmm we seem to have something in common! To work with us, just click here! Six years ago, I asked him for a separation and he agreed then backed off. I would love to know your thoughts on two women bestfriends who fall in love with each other and both are married. Well, wanted to, I fell in love with someone else. Make time for romance, try out new activities together, and step outside of your comfort zones, together. From that point on, you take your distance and focus on your relationship. IMDb is the world's most popular and authoritative source for movie, TV and celebrity content. She practices in Nottingham. I feel like if i leave my husband Im using his past as an excuse but I feel that no one should have gone through what I have and to this day I have no idea if he is just hiding that he is going out on me again. Though there are many reasons that would make you want to stay, if you want things to change, you will have to push him away and focus the wellbeing of yourself and your family. Still, the posts are very short for starters. I dont let him touch me. If You're Taken But Falling In Love With Someone Else, Do This But.. he is more traditional in bed. He pays you unexpected compliments. A way to help you choose Which makes this all the more difficult. I also feel like I would be living a lie if I continued to stay with my wife knowing that Im still in love with the mother of my kids and deep down inside I really want to be with the mother of my kids but It would crush my wife if I told her .. thats where Im having a problem at cause Id rather just leave my marriage and everything behind and start over not just to be with the mother of my kids but a new start for me. I have become so numb to the situation that sometimes I do believe the things he says. If youre entertaining thoughts When I take a step back and put things in perspective I recognize that Joseph and I have been living like roommates in a comfortable situation, but clearly our relationship was not fulfilling me. Ive read a lot of books etc and am trying but with zero encouragement from him and no interest. He said he would stop so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and mostly because I didnt want to break up our family (at this point we had 2 daughters). Release Calendar Top 250 Movies Most Popular Movies Browse Movies by Genre Top Box Office Showtimes & Tickets Movie News India Movie Spotlight. And one can say i tried. He works out of town and I feed the dogs if our daughter is unable to, I run errands for him while hes on storm work bc I am still legally his wife. I know this will affect my children, family and friends but everyday I think about the other girl. Dont leave the marriage for another person, though. Truth be told, when you are focused on short-term consequences, you often wind up making decisions that might not be the best for you. I feel as now we are acting like roommates and not husband and wife. That way we can ask you specific questions that will help us to determine the right plan of action. However regardless of the situation I think the point remains, you either want your marriage to work or you dont. My family adores him and his family adores me. So nobody will understand.. and Im thinking Im crazy and its all on me. I hate myself for wanting to be with someone else as well as my husband. Ive been reading a lot on the internet about this kind of situation, but almost all of it is about how to choose or what to do, if YOU fell in love for someone else. It breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness. Its also important to note that if something deeper than friendship is brewing between you and your friend and you want to save your marriage, you will need to put space between you. He insists on me proving myself that I would do anything to find a solution to take card of the kids and so far it is nothing but us faking we are good by allowing myself to kiss him and hug him in front of the kids knowing I dont want to at all. Thanks for helping out, excellent information. Everything would be perfect if one, or both of you, wasn't MARRIED. I think Im longing for passion and desire. If you aremarried and have fallen in love with someone else, it is crucial that you are very honest with yourself from here on out. My husband made me feel undeserved. But my roomate made me feel loved, wanted and needed in less time than the 5 years of being with my husband. But I dont want to. be to take a step back and really analyze what you want. Its important to try to figure out why a person does what they do. So nowI am married but in love with someone elseand I really dont know what to do. Have you ever considered a 1:1 coaching? However, if you would rather focus on cultivating a romantic relationship with your friend, you will have to think about letting go of your marriage. It can be a challenging period, but if you take some time for yourself to heal and find clarity, you will find that this becomes easier. Pls help me on hoe best to hanle this situation, thanks so much. It doesnt have to be grandiose gestures it can be simple actions that show them how much you care and that theyre on your mind. Married But In Love With Someone Else - After My Affair How do you navigate new love? This article will provide you with tools for analyzing your feelings and getting a better idea of what you truly want, and then I will explain some tools to help you reach your goal and be truly happy in love. He of course got extremely upset and it was more ups and downs where he would say I understand then cuss me out. So that is why it is important to think about the long-term consequences, or in other words, what happens later on down the road. What should I do? Watching someone you love, Love somebody else. So talk about your husband or wifes interests with them. A couple times later I found out he was on Craiglist looking to do these odd sexual things and i confronted him about it. I know how easy it is to feel helpless or stuck, but there are solutions. I need help. Love is such a fascinating emotion. I told him, the respect is there, but the love has long been gone. This probably comes as no surprise but if youre serious about restoring and repairing your relationship with your husband or your wife, youve got to cut things off with the other man or woman. So perhaps you can begin by limiting the amount of things you reach out to your ex husband for, and reach out to your SO if you still need help. I highly encourage you to spend as much time with your parents and surround yourself with people that love and support you as you begin to exit this relationship. For 4 months now, ive developed a feeling for someone i havent even met personally. She grew unhappy (though she didnt tell me), missed her friends and social contacts, was home alone with our children all the time, when i was at work. If you actively choose your partner every single day, it becomes easier and easier to cut ties with your lover. In order to keep the peace I had to lie and say that I would stick around and I sent him videos to encourage him to get help and see someone for therapy. Start to reintroduce romance and quality time spent together. I love your concept on working on your marriage, but want out. Your heart might be screaming, "I'm married but in love with another man," very loudly. Some have chosen their lover and have been very happy. When we start to fall into the routine of the relationship, its very easy to neglect one another, so one of the first steps of restoring and the relationship is to carve out time to spend with each other. I cant enjoy my newborn because hes all over him and questioning everything I say and do and getting offended if I want to bathe him or change him. I never talked to my friends or family about this because I chose to stay with him and didnt want people to view him differently or myself as pathetic for staying. Please dont hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching so that we can ask you targetted questions and define a custom action plan for you. We got back to a really nice comfortable place but he doesnt seem to want to put in the effort. Your relationship was rocked by infidelity, but you put in the work to, Is your man dragging his feet when it comes to popping the question? I cheat on my husband and became pregnant. Unhappy and lonely, I tried to be content and happy whatever differences in opinions were and what ever much he hurt me I learned to let it go almost instantly. I knew I was not happy in my marriage; that there were things missing, and that I was very, very lonely and had been for a long time. 9 Signs You're Unhappily Married And In Love With Someone Else I often wonder if things would turn out differently (better) if I was someone else..Finally, naye.. This drives me crazy! You can make your life what you want it to be, with whoever you want it to be with. I dont talk to the guy i met online coz i dont want it to be used against me. I have known that my marriage was struggling for quite some time now (at least 2 years).